I DIED TOdAY (30 may)

It’s 30th may. It’s how they say.
I died today.
I failed prodigiously on this day.
With my soul to this day I pay.

It’s 30th may.
I died today.

My living body, my breathing Carcass
Celebrates my death anniversary today.
I raise a glass to drink for soberness,
As myself dies an agonising death today.

Its 30th may.
I lost you today,,,,,I lost me today.
Not just the end of the month,
But end of us and the end of me today.

It’s the day of bleeding tears I shed.
Quietly sunk my face in my bed.
Not a hiss of sound are allowed to escape.
Containing the turbulence in my head.

Please forgive me I begged today.
On my knees where I continued to stay.
Keeping all the sentiments a bay.
You just abandoned me today.

It’s 30th may
I died today.

Post this day, the days pass in months.
My gathered self takes the form to attain.
The time breaths some life in my guts.
But when this day arrives, I just die again.

With you not close to me and not near.
Death comes to me every year.
Every year I collect my self with the rains.
But when this day arrives, I just die again.

So much and So long

I have loved you so much 
And have loved you for so long. 
That I don’t know what it feels like . 
Not to love you any more. 

I have thought of you,  
So much and for so long 
That I don’t know, what it feels like , 
Not to think of you any more. 

I don’t know what it feels like, 
Not to sleep with you in my head. 
And I wouldn’t know what it feels like, 
For the life I live, and till I am dead. 

I do not know any more, what it feels like, 
To not have you as my 1st thought 
When I wake up,  
And will never know,  
not even when I break up. 

If The feeling of remembering you, 
Is gone, it’s vanished. 
If not remembering you, is the only acceptance. 
Then I wanna be discarded and banished. 

If my eyes looses it light, 
And banned from it visual power. 
I’ll still efficiently see you, 
Though it would be my darkest hour. 

I have started to love my love for you, 
The feeling that I own is owned by so few. 
I have loved to love you, so much, for so long. 
That My poems to me ,they don’t belong. 

A silent part of me, a pumping part of me. 
Will always be waiting for you. 
An unheard voice buried inside me. 
Will always be calling for you.  

Cuz I have loved you so much 
And I have loved you for so long. 
That I don’t know what it feel like, 
Not to love you any more.  

Unlatched soul

My soulless body lies with a lifeless glare.
Conceals and confines the pain I bare.
It’s hard to keep my soul latched to me,
When you my soul keeper aren’t there.

It cares not for my physical being,
Just leaves me in flesh and bones unseen.
Abandoning me while it’s still anchored,
Bruised, emotional casualties it suffered.

Since the time of your departure,
My spirit wondered out of my structure.
Drifting in every direction of your being.
Leaving me empty, I doubt it’s even seeing

Wanting to know how you are,
When the weight of time sheds off,
Relentlessly seeking you, wondered so far
Brings me back the traces of how you are.

It’s hard to decide what do I miss more.
It’s you or my ever wondering soul.
That refuses to reside back in me.
That refuses to fill the emptiness in me.

It’s hard to decide, it’s hard to elect.
for loosing whom should I regret?
You? That chose me to reject.
Or my soul? that I cannot recollect.

The emptiness in me, the void in me.
Is carved in an exact shape of you,
Whom should I seek to replenish it with?
Nothing could ever fit in, but you.

This empty void space in me ,
Remains sealed but unfulfilled.
Every desire drenched in its darkeness,
Is brutally suffocated and killed.

Moon to my heart’s ocean

The ocean of my heart,
behaves towards you like it’s moon.
The load of emotions shifts in waves,
forming a chaotic typhoon.

The distance from you determines my heart’s instability,
Being close to you seems the least probability.

The Unstable surface holds allot within,
under your blissful reflection.
The very gaze at you swirls in me ,
with allot of affection.

A tidal wave rises, bringing the message
of your unknown nearing presence.
The moisture from the splashing waves,
delivers your familiar essence.

In the turbulence of your absence,
My heart remains in an unsettled commotion.
The ambience of your musings shimmers,
Upon me as the Moon to my hearts ocean.

The unsilent crashing of emotional waves,
Is heard through the spilling retinal caves.
Beholds the approaching sentimental rage
,unleashed in words on the blank page.

Your surreal appearance,
sets my universe in motion.
The only clarity in my gaze is you.
Rest of the world is in distortion.

I Am more than prepared ,
to live in your illusion.
Until my pulse stops to feed your musings.
You’ll continue to be the moon to my hearts ocean.

Drowned

I am so drowned into you.

Shutting out the reality on the surface ,
I am so drowned into you.
Unfeeling the insignificant sounds in air.
I am so drowned into you.

You embrace me like the water pressure.
A tight loving hug one can’t measure.
Every attribute of me can feel you around.
The gushes of your musings are inbound.

I am relieved of all my remorse and fear.
Breathing you as my new atmosphere.
Emerging out of you makes me choke.
Giving the feeling that can’t be spoke.

If that’s what’s its like, I’d rather remain drowned
Where I choose to swirl under the fluid ground.
And remain there until my time is due.
This is how I am so drowned into you.